…I was heavily pregnant with my first baby. *sighs* I loved being pregnant. Once past that first trimester, where my biggest fear (apart from my baby growing healthily) was that I would never regain my appetite and I would become forever enshrined in that state of gastronomic fussiness that I find so irksome in others. Cream cracker anyone? Crisp butty? Cornflakes? Mmmm yes please! Garlicky anchovy based pasta sauce…. Bleugh!
Then came the second trimester, when I emerged from the nausea and tiredness and started to feel BLOODY GORGEOUS! My hair, my skin, my serene contentment. Well, maybe the last one is a stretch… this was the era of “the master list”. Ten pages of A4 of lists divided in various categories of our life, subdivided in to quick jobs and massive jobs, and using a colour coded series of red and green biro wiggly lines and yellow highlighter pens to annotate and highlight the tasks’ relative importance. In short, I thought our life, wait, no… The world was ending and we had to complete everything before December the 1st. I was pretty obsessed with it. Poor Mister had an endless stream of jobs, large and small to complete. I did my share too – erecting shelves in the airing cupboard all by my pretty self (tongue firmly in cheek, just in case you are wondering – I totally rock a tool belt). My bump started to emerge and I noticed women looking down at my belly and smiling at me. The shift to maternity clothes I also loved – I purchased a few items from ebay, and inherited a couple from friends. I was out of my tight fitting boring wardrobe, and into things I wouldn’t usually wear for everyday, but with limited choice I had to. So I felt fabulous. We even squeezed in a holiday (obviously this was numero uno on the list), which was totally marvellous. I learned I was great at delegating and selling stuff on Ebay. Thanks pregnancy.
Then came the third trimester. Suddenly the list was thrown into doubt. The tiredness returned like an unwanted hypnotic spell. I had to pace myself, but I felt more able to put things in perspective again (with the list). Work had slowed right down, (as per the plan set out in the list) and I was able to just be pregnant. I reflected even then, that this was the healthiest, happiest and most positive I had felt in years. I was proud of myself for growing this mobile little creature inside me. Yes, I was tired, breathless and my back ached, but I felt strong and capable and so excited to meet the child inside me. By this time last year… I was on leave. The list was complete. The Christmas shopping was done. There was only the cake and the house to decorate, a few social engagements to attend. I was ready. The due date was the 19th December, but I remember waking up on the 1st December and thinking… it could happen TODAY! And the 2nd, 3rd… Unfortunately the little chicken was nice and cosy for another month, but that’s another story.
So Advent, with all it’s spicy scents, pretty lights and cosy fires will always feel extra special to me. It will always remind me of that very special time in my life so full of peace, hope and joy x